Monday, November 10, 2008

Two Streaks....

I had never seen such a beautiful sight,
The water was black and the surroundings white,
The flow so silky and the cascade so bright,
No it wasn’t a waterfall, but her hair so light.

Two streaks coming over her face,
Was like a stream of cloud over space,
Or was I lost in that lovely entangled maze?
It was nothing less than a princess’ grace.

The locks running over her cheeks,
Seemed like river flowing out of creeks,
Or was I mistaken in my judgement?
It was the sea of hopes desiring to unleash.

She played with it like a child uncared,
Her fingers fiddling with it, completely unaware
That the world around her is beautiful,
But not more than the two streaks of her hair.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

I didn,t knew somebody's hairs could be described so beautifully...

Anonymous said...

awesome..

Som said...

well honestly.. I feel you overdid in this... Your other poems (most of them) has sense of simplicity which make them striking.. this one is a bit off track... it also looses the tempo at the end..

Any how personal opinion, so don't mind,

Keep up the good work...

Gautam Anand said...

@Som
Thanks for ur honest review..
But I still feel it's my best work along with "The way You look at me"
and " Your Smile so sweet"...

Sneha said...

Don't go by what som has to Gautam..You r really nice in this..

Som said...

Definitely "The way you look at me" is the best.. and it is one of the best I have read from an armature poet..

Chez said...

Nice One da This . . .

Rahul said...

I truly think u desreve a standing ovation for this..

Gautam Anand said...

thx.. rahul but I don't think I deserve so much..

Anonymous said...

soulful..

Neha said...

beautiful..

Neha said...

How I wish that .. was written about my hairs..

paekut said...

Ye solid hai......ur most wonderful creation..

Believe me!

seher's shenanigans said...

awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee!
whaooooo!!!

A Poetess said...

nice. it fully reflects and justifies a man's loving gaze with all its generosity. i don't know whether to call it a poem, but its a elegant piece of writing for sure
~Cheers~

Gautam Anand said...

@poetess
as long as you find it nice .. I am happy.. doesn't matter if u found it a poem or not..

A Poetess said...

im watching you for this piece of genius alone..though thats not to say there arent other reasons. cheers and welcome to my blogging world.

Gautam Anand said...

@Poetess
thx again...
but what are the other reasons.. ??