I had never seen such a beautiful sight,
The water was black and the surroundings white,
The flow so silky and the cascade so bright,
No it wasn’t a waterfall, but her hair so light.
Two streaks coming over her face,
Was like a stream of cloud over space,
Or was I lost in that lovely entangled maze?
It was nothing less than a princess’ grace.
The locks running over her cheeks,
Seemed like river flowing out of creeks,
Or was I mistaken in my judgement?
It was the sea of hopes desiring to unleash.
She played with it like a child uncared,
Her fingers fiddling with it, completely unaware
That the world around her is beautiful,
But not more than the two streaks of her hair.
Monday, November 10, 2008
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18 comments:
I didn,t knew somebody's hairs could be described so beautifully...
awesome..
well honestly.. I feel you overdid in this... Your other poems (most of them) has sense of simplicity which make them striking.. this one is a bit off track... it also looses the tempo at the end..
Any how personal opinion, so don't mind,
Keep up the good work...
@Som
Thanks for ur honest review..
But I still feel it's my best work along with "The way You look at me"
and " Your Smile so sweet"...
Don't go by what som has to Gautam..You r really nice in this..
Definitely "The way you look at me" is the best.. and it is one of the best I have read from an armature poet..
Nice One da This . . .
I truly think u desreve a standing ovation for this..
thx.. rahul but I don't think I deserve so much..
soulful..
beautiful..
How I wish that .. was written about my hairs..
Ye solid hai......ur most wonderful creation..
Believe me!
awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee!
whaooooo!!!
nice. it fully reflects and justifies a man's loving gaze with all its generosity. i don't know whether to call it a poem, but its a elegant piece of writing for sure
~Cheers~
@poetess
as long as you find it nice .. I am happy.. doesn't matter if u found it a poem or not..
im watching you for this piece of genius alone..though thats not to say there arent other reasons. cheers and welcome to my blogging world.
@Poetess
thx again...
but what are the other reasons.. ??
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